If you are not living for something that is worth dying for, can you really live?

That’s a question I never thought I needed to ask for the first 23 years of my life.

When you live for something so much that you would die for it, giving it up isn’t easy.

And to me, it felt more like death—a trench I couldn’t seem to find the bottom of.

Like a knife in my chest, waiting to be pulled out, but I didn’t dare for fear that I would collapse.

The truth can be painful.

But you know what can be even more painful? Peeking over the daunting cliff of utter ruin and knowing you have to jump off—because if you don’t, it will slowly burn you. And coming to realize the God you lived for was maybe not worth dying for.

I can’t help but think of those solemn days. The sun was shining, everything was peaceful. But I was shattered. So cold. So far from the warm embrace of a mission I thought was real. And now I was considering that maybe it wasn’t.

But that’s not all. You’re so far from seeing the world as others do that you start realizing that maybe you are considered bad. Maybe they are right about you.

Nothing Is Off the Table

My feelings in those days were a total disaster. One moment, I would feel more confident than Jesus Christ, and within minutes, I would be grappling at the edge of a never-ending hole of total despair.

With nothing to live for—and the man I always loved shattered in ways worse than death—what was off the table? Nothing.

If my reality of 20 years could be shattered in days, then what is real? What isn’t? And why couldn’t yours be shattered too?

And what is the point of building another reality when it too could come in contact with the monsters of existence or the programming of a sinister god?

I could have coped with seeing my father shot a thousand times. I could have suffered being tortured myself. Or my religion being scoffed at by every man.

But to steal away my identity, all I loved, and most of all, the spirit that supported me through every dark day—that was a battle I was not familiar with, a war I couldn’t see how to win.

Give Me War and Let Me Fight

I’d cut down anyone for what was right.

I never doubted a single day.

And on that cliff, I tried to look away.

But the wind, like a sun flare, pushed me in.

Blew me off like a whirlwind.

In that black hole, there was no stair.

All I saw was evil there.

Long falls are hard, and I cracked my bones.

I heard unsung music and rough, rough tones.

I found out gravity is oh so kind.

But only for an open mind.

When People Can’t Die for Something…

They can’t live for something.

And what I found out is that evil is all that is left. I mean an absence of good. Evil is the state of returning to the black hole and can be manifested in actions, thoughts, or simply in observable nature—if there is any difference.

It seems to me that in the void of purpose, there’s only dark matter.

And whenever purpose is not strong enough that you are willing to die for it, evil becomes more prevalent—whether voluntarily or involuntarily.

In conscious life, is a path to something higher (a purpose) the sole requirement for progress and meaningful happiness?

At a basic level, the struggle for life and survival might fill the void.

But when conscious life gains peace beyond survival, it seems to me that the mountain must inevitably get forever higher. But equally, the foundation has to be built right.

Or, like me, you fall off the mountain—as real as it may seem.

In fact, it was real, or I couldn’t have climbed it. And reality can be thought into existence.

But whenever that existence doesn’t align with the laws of physics, there’s a cliff on the other side.

This Is Where Energy Flows

Energy flows whenever there is a struggle for life.

And beyond having a purpose that one is willing to risk their life for, that energy—the light and power of existence—ceases to flow.

It isn’t that you have to be on the brink of death. But when your beliefs are not so great that you are willing to go to war for them if needed, the energy ceases to flow.

And then death is inevitable—in an individual, a society, or any living creature, as far as I can tell.

Even domesticated animals that are given everything become weaker and can’t survive without help.

But the ones that struggle for life are strong and vibrant.

I believe in energy. I always have. And I have come to believe that to the degree a person is willing to die for a cause, so will their energy increase to meet the demand.

Without a greater mission, a higher mountain that people are willing to die for, peace will inevitably bring war—because peace doesn’t make a person increase in knowledge and ability.

Peace is good as long as people have and remember the principles or mission that they are willing to die for.

Why Is Religion So Foundational to Our DNA?

When humans get beyond the need to survive, their energy cannot maintain life without a greater purpose.

Is God the purpose men have found to live in peace beyond the need for survival?

To me, there is no better testament to God than that. This isn’t an argument that God is real. But if God is real, “God” seems to be the controller of energy.

But it seems to me this “God” is more rooted in strict laws rather than a person extending compassion at appropriate times.

In other words, energy—or “God”—will flow to those people who have a purpose they consider more important than themselves.

That’s why obsession is the greatest path to accomplishment. Because energy and the intelligence of that energy flow to people who have made something their purpose beyond survival.

And if you have noticed, it doesn’t have to be something people deem as “good.” Obsession seems to bring that energy, whether you are doing something good or not.

Conclusion

Without something you are willing to die for, you will be looking for “happiness.”

But without making something more important than your own survival, you won’t find it. Because what makes you happy is increased energy over a long period of time.

I still struggle with complete darkness at times when I lack something I am willing to give my all for. These dark times lead me to a place where I literally just need to survive, and then I can pull out of them.

Building a purpose on reality is a scary task and one that most people want done for them. Such a purpose can be given, but without a deep struggle, that person will not be able to comprehend their full purpose.

“Most people are grumpy around here” is another way to say, “Most people around here are beyond survival mode, but they don’t have a higher aim they are willing to go to war for.”

Energy will come to those who need to survive. Or to those who can awaken within themselves a greater purpose beyond survival.

So what are you willing to die for?

If the answer is nothing, then be careful—because without it, you may not truly be living either.

My podcast this week is titled ‘I’m taking over the FLDS cult.’ If that sounds interesting, go give it a listen!

You would also enjoy this article titled: Father’s Day: A Farewell Gift

Follow me on X, Facebook, and Instagram for weekly updates!

I would be delighted to have you subscribe!