It has not been long since I decided to leave the flds religion entirely, about one year ago as of February 2024. I considered leaving 3 years ago and acted somewhat but was having a very difficult time letting go.
Today I have many things I am still trying to figure out, like where to live and what to do.
I have a very small construction business and hopefully that will keep growing.
My religious beliefs are not set in stone. I am still in the desert. There is one person I have found that I agree with almost entirely and his name is Jordan Peterson. I love that guy.
The truth is, I don’t know if I will ever be out of the desert. I have read several books and I can only come to one conclusion: Keep learning. Start asking more questions. Everyone that claims to have absolute answers to religion seems very flawed in my opinion.
To those who are still in the flds, I want to say something. You may assume that I am confused in my mind concerning religion. You may assume I am just like Leroy Johnson said, “More confused than ever because I doubted my testimony.” And I want you to know that I am more at peace than I have ever been in my life and there is a reason for that: If you avoid hearing something because you are afraid it will change your testimony, you probably should hear it. The simple fact is that without gaining all the knowledge we can about any given situation, we cannot correctly judge that situation. If the flds is so right you will have no problem hearing everything said for and against and simply making that decision. If there is information you could hear that would make you leave, you should not avoid that information. Instead use prayer and an open mind and judge the information in order to make the best decision you can. Remember that anything you hear does not make any of the good you do or know wrong.
There is one thing that has not changed for me and that is I love Jesus. There is great value in reading and following the teachings of Jesus. I fully intend to continue to read the New Testament and strive to practice.
There is so much good from the flds that I will keep. There is no reason to let any of that go.
I am extremely excited for the future and to have the knowledge that I can make the decisions in my life. I do not need to fear my dad, fear if I am good enough, fear if I will make it.
Now all that responsibility is on me and I feel much better. I can decide where I will be in a year from now. I can decide what I should do tomorrow. I do not wonder if a phone call from my dad will sever me from contact with my mother, sisters, or brothers. Or from heaven and God. None of that.
As I think of all these benefits there is one very healing thing that fills my heart: gratitude. I am so grateful for all the things I have learned and all the rough times. It is impossible to come to a better place without struggle and hardship.
To anyone that left the flds before me, I want you to know that your example encouraged me. Whatever you chose to do after, thats just fine by me. But your willingness to let it go is what gave me the encouragement to consider doing so. Especially the people in dads family that left. I really doubt if I could have been the first one to leave. So huge shout out to all of you if you read this, you know who you are!
I look forward to reading more and writing more as I continue my journey. Wishing you all the very best of luck in your journey as well!
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