Suppress your feelings and they will manifest in some way more aggressive and destructive. Lie to yourself about being above sexual and emotional desires, and those desires will turn your morality into justification of those desires and you won’t even know it. Today I am looking at why I respect people who seem evil on the surface much more than I used to. And I take more caution around the religious.
Looking Within
Nothing makes me think as hard as studying my own thoughts, desires, and actions. I will share some of my dark secrets at the end. The ability to look at yourself is far too difficult for most people. Instead we blame everyone else and make constant excuses.
Looking within requires total neutrality, which is almost impossible with ourselves.
Why Moral People Can Become So Evil
At our core, we have “immoral” tendencies.
When a person dedicates themselves to a moral cause, to improving themselves, they face a danger that they must be aware of.
It is a danger that is so consistently persistent and creeps up on them without them ever knowing. It takes the longest vision and always works long term if it don’t get the short.
A danger that uses every moral principle that person has instilled into themselves through hard work to sneak in and cut up through and take over that persons life.
Justifying all of it on the foundation of the moral principles that person follows.
That danger is called human nature. The very thing their morality sought to overcome.
It turns some of the best people on earth into lords of power, the young leader into a treacherous serpent, and the humble sheep into a devouring wolf. And they don’t even know it.
Attempting Morality
Think of the many rulers of religion, nations, churches, or even families. They started our young and spry, with a mission to take down the unjust powers that be.
Until they did. And then became that exact unjust power.
When we attempt morality, we decide to take a higher ground and live to a higher standard.
After striving diligently with ourselves and achieving our goals, we consider ourselves having overcome our sins.
The idea that the wrong things we once did are even apart of us disgust us. And there is where the evil starts creeping back in. Because it is a lie that you have overcome those things.
Moral superior people who consider they have overcome sexual desires or other natural tendencies of the human being are the most susceptible to being overthrown by the evils of the body.
Not outwardly. Only through the justification of the morality they have attained to.
A perfect example is my dad, Warren Jeffs. All his evils were justified, or rather made righteous in his own mind through his morality.
He did not need to make evils he did seem right to those around him alone. No, they needed to seem right to him too.
Tell The Truth And Be Damed
In this world where everyone lives superior to another, we are quick to judge people who are honest about how they feel.
For example, if someone says they want to kill someone else, we quickly judge that person as evil.
Instead we should thank them for telling the truth and work to help them find another solution, one that will be good for themselves and the person they want to kill.
In many religions, you cannot express your sexual desires. That does not make them go away. Instead they are pushed down and then they appear through odd justifications, in more aggressive forms, and in secrecy.
That is why porn is very common among young men in stricter religious communities.
A study done on porn usage showed Utah was the number one consumer. This is exactly why. Desires don’t go away. If people cannot be honest about their desires, those desires will show themselves in some other way. They will find a way to be recognized and fulfilled.
Worst Case Scenario
It is one thing when you don’t have a place to tell how you feel without being condemned.
But worst case is when you cannot tell yourself how you feel.
That is when considering suicide and some dark shit is headed your way. But in cases where people have power, money, and feel morally superior, they fulfill their desires, of course through the justification of their moral lens.
If you don’t have power, and you lie to yourself about how you feel, you will become depressed and shitty as ever.
No way is good. The goal is to get our minds in a position so we can be honest with ourselves.
What Is The Solution?
We should seek to put ourselves and those around us in situations where we can tell the truth about how we feel.
It would be far more ugly on the surface. For example, in the Mormon community, if it was a goal to make it more acceptable to voice human desires for sexuality, it could not profess as much righteousness.
But suppose you could be open about it without feeling condemning. Then work towards a good and moral solution to the problem.
Half of fulfilling that desire is acknowledging it and working with it to fulfill it’s needs in an appropriate way.
Ignoring it is when it will do something aggressive and blow up in some form or another.
Let Me Be Honest About Myself
If I am going to create a culture that is more open, it starts with me.
I will admit some dark things. And I will do it because by acknowledging those things, I can work with them to be fulfilled in an appropriate manner.
Wait, I don’t actually dare at this point. The good news is I can at least be honest with myself about them. And perhaps trusted friends.
I will say this, my desire to kill someone sparked my whole thought process on this. And it had to do with a romantic situation. If I can admit that, you can admit things about yourself too. And hopefully by being honest and acknowledging those things within ourselves, we can work to find a solution that is good for ourselves and the community.
Don’t get me wrong, I did not actually consider going and killing anyone. But I started to realize that if I was not honest with myself about those feelings, they would get worse and show in a terrible way.
Conclusion
If you ignore your feelings and desires, they will spring up in a worse way.
All religion is a judgment of ourselves and others.
Beauty is only beautiful if it goes all the way. Some ugliness becomes beautiful. Telling the truth becomes beautiful.
If we want to be good, we need to follow a set of rules similar to what religion provides.
But if we make it so expressing our desires becomes evil, then we are causing more problems than we are doing good.
Especially if it is so bad that we are lying to ourselves about our feelings and desires, like we did in the FLDS.
We need to find a balance between religion, following a set of principles, but still acknowledging our feelings in a way that we can more closely align with our principles.
You don’t just get rid of a feeling or desire. You need to acknowledge it and work with it to find a wholesome solution to being fulfilled. Then you can find peace.
Wishing you all the best in your future! Start by acknowledging the dark and evil parts! They are not so evil. They need a solution as much as you need food and water!
Thank you for reading! You would also enjoy this article titled: “Inside The Fascinating Mind Of Warren Jeffs“
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