All the good you did for youth,
And all the times you spoke the truth,
I’ll never forget the love you did exert
But why o why did I still feel hurt?
It was the freedom I wished to enjoy
When control tactics you did employ
I wanted to make sense of my history
But you said questioning it would cause misery.
I loved my community,
Thought we were all headed for eternity.
Once it all made so much sense!
But now it seems all at my expense
Vision Of Beauty
Mormonism in all its beauty, its all encompassing nature, its spiritual grasp on the soul, and unique style of humility; it is truly all so beautiful on one condition: you sincerely believe every word of it.
Within mormonism, heaven is the peace you create inside your soul. Hell is within. Every world has a God. It all makes so much sense. And the purity in it, the exertion, the energy, the love. Can the tongue begin to describe it? Angels could not explain their joy. Nor could Joseph Smith or Brigham Young. They said the English language was far too inadequate.
Ugliness In Mormonism
No man can describe the horrible dark side of Mormonism! The devil himself has not attempted to explain it. No one truly knows the dark side unless he has seen the beauty of it. Hell is no adequate description for it. And those who have seen it are disgusted, their hearts torn and filled with blood and bitterness.
It reeks with a stench of death, horror and disgust.
Why Speak My Truth
If anyone ever had a duty to speak the truth about Mormonism, I do.
My silence kills my soul. It rips my gizzards. And my beliefs will not stay silent longer.
I speak with the same authority as Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Gordon B. Hinckley, Warren Jeffs or any other prophet that ever gave revelation to the people.
By God I won’t cower like most half ass Mormon apologists or wallow around like I was once a poor old Mormon.
Nor do I give any shit whatsoever of what any Mormon or non Mormon thinks or ever will think. I care nothing of it. That does not mean I am not open to discussion, that simply means I will say what I think, and you should too, Mormon or not!
Why Is Mormonism So Compelling?
If you are a Mormon, you will understand better what I am about to explain. If you are not, I will do my best to help you see the beauty in Mormonism.
Mormonism is hope. It gives you peace in life and death. That is if you believe it wholeheartedly.
Mormonism does not promise that you will dwell with God alone. It promises that by gaining here a little and there a little, you too can become a God.
Many Christians find the idea of becoming a God horribly wrong. But when you are raised thinking that, believing it, it is difficult to give up. It is something worth striving for.
People are happy when they have a mission. And that is exactly what Mormonism provides. Not only that, it gives brotherhood. It gives sisterhood. You have a tight knit community to love and be loved by.
I find much of the early church history extremely interesting, and many stories very compelling. For example, Charles Penrose was part of the high council in 1874. They were having a heated dispute in the high council. He went home and wrote a very beautiful poem/song.
If you read this with an open mind, you can grasp why so many people are touched by the spiritual message of Mormonism. The idea with me including this entire poem is to help the reader understand why so many men are deeply devoted; they find it beautiful. They love the community. And you need to feel that to understand what I am saying. I especially love the 3rd verse.
School Thy Feelings
School thy feelings,
O my brother;
Train thy warm, impulsive soul.
Do not its emotions smother,
But let wisdom’s voice control.
School thy feelings; there is power
In the cool, collected mind.
Passion shatters reason’s tower,
Makes the clearest vision blind.
School thy feelings; condemnation
Never pass on friend or foe
Though the tide of accusation
Like a flood of truth may flow.
Hear defense before deciding,
And a ray of light may gleam,
Showing thee what filth is hiding
Underneath the shallow stream.
Should affliction’s acrid vial
Bitterly thy soul assail,
Pour not on the glowing trial
Wholly unavailing wail.
But in silence, strength deriving
By communion, shriveled heart.
Gird thee for a nobler striving,
Cheer thee with a holier art.
Human souls are oft cumbered
By the things they should disdain.
Let not then thy spirit slumber;
Wake and show that thou art man.
Freed from passion’s fierce emotion,
Hastening on the upward way,
Not in strife, but meek devotion,
Swayed by love’s compelling sway.
There is deep spiritual beauty that has come from Mormonism. And that was true more especially in the early church history when a lot of wild stuff was happening.
Now For the Ugly
Apostates often fight Mormonism, say things against it, file lawsuits and feel extremely passionate about going against it.
So let’s take a look at why people feel that way.
Shunned From Community
When you begin to question anything in Mormonism, have doubts, ask difficult questions, that wonderful community starts to disappear.
The difficult thing about this: You are going through a serious belief crisis, while simultaneously being shunned for it. Mormons will say, “O we are still nice.”
And that is one of the hypocrisies that X Mormons hate; They treat you kind but silently withdraw, and I mean everyone withdraws. So it gets really lonely.
And then you have two choices: Screw it all and leave or go back and repent. Usually people will go back for a second and then leave it all.
Polygamy
Is Polygamy the ugliness in early mormonism? Many people think so. Some wild stuff happened with polygamy from Joseph all the way down to our day. 10 years ago the LDS church still somewhat upheld the doctrine for the “afterlife”. Today they scarcely dare say a word about it.
Many LDS leave over this. I will write on this topic in the future. Suffice it to say, it is a big part of Mormon history.
Disgusted
Some mormons that leave and are chill, others disgusted.
I need to explain something from my own experience: Everything has a spiritual aspect to it, recognized or not. And certainly that includes leaving Mormonism.
Think of the song you read above. There are many more like them. Mormons have spent life pondering these sorts of things. And when they start questioning everything, they begin to get shut out of the community.
The truths they pondered and believed take on a different meaning. The world becomes much more dark and sinister. The community they enjoyed continues on, seemingly happy. So they are left alone.
And they are now open to all negative things about mormonism.
You start to realize that while Mormons do what they say within the community, on another level they often do the opposite.(Hey I am not accusing all Mormons. But think of how you treated people that were outspoken against you. Like Jesus would??)
You start wondering if all that beauty was just in a video game.
There is No Beauty Like The Truth
When we are able to ask questions, we feel relieved. The instant someone takes that from you, you start to get resentful.
There comes a point in leaving Mormonism that a person feels great relief. Why? Because there is no obligation to believe any theory while reasoning; you can use your full capacity of common sense.
When Abraham of old left his father, he went to face his own life’s adventure.
And when you leave Mormonism, you are going to face your own life’s adventure.
Much of the knowledge you gained is useful. But now you have to make decisions that will help you improve or the opposite.
More responsibility rests on a person outside of religion; they have to find their own discipline. That is freedom, and that is responsibility. Many fail, and religion is a better alternative. They begin to believe again, and simultaneously their lives improve.
Yes, mormonism creates a lot of good people.
Leaving Mormonism is facing death and wrestling with God. But that is how we grow in understanding; by asking questions about what we believe.
Beauty Outside Mormonism
If you want to know true beauty, you have to ask all those hard questions. You have to accept the adventure of your life.
The greatest peace you will find, whether it be in God or the universe, will be outside of Mormonism. And there is one reason for that: You can ask any question. You can consider any answer.
There is no appealing to God for satisfaction when you can’t achieve, you have to recognize that you are responsible. God made you responsible and if you can bear that burden and privilege, you can equally find joy.
Coincidences go from God working miracles to you being one with all things, in body, in mind, and in spirit. Coincidence and miracles happens when a person is trying to achieve, if you put in enough work the universe itself will conspire to make it happen.
The stronger your belief in Mormonism, the more coincidences to strengthen your beliefs and give you what you strive for.
Conclusion
Mormonism has many beautiful aspects. I did not cover the ugliness as well as I wanted, but that is because I was not sure if I could explain it adequately.
Yes there is polygamy, underage sex, and so much more. But the true ugliness is in spiritual deceit. It has given me an entirely different view on good and evil, power and control.
If you want true joy, live in a community that you can ask any question, converse on any subject, consider all topics, and contemplate anything you desire. Even if that community is just yourself!
Thank You for reading! You may also enjoy this article titled “5 Lessons I Learned From The Tragedy And Triumph Of Jesus Christ“
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