I have seen many mothers hearts torn, and my own mothers too. It’s not pretty.
I can’t speak for mothers, but I wanted to say that I can see your pain. This article is to try and help people understand what mothers in or coming from the FLDS or similar situations experience.
I am not speaking for women who were unhappy in those situations, I am more specifically speaking about women who loved their youth and wanted to raise children in the religion.
A Mothers Journey
Growing up, they loved life. Tons of kids, maybe a few moms, and life was buzzing. Raised in a strict belief system does not mean they were unhappy. Perhaps the opposite, they had purpose and knew what their life was all about.
Just like everyone around them, they believed 100% in God and the Prophet.
Then they got married. Yes it was arranged in most cases. But they were genuinely just glad to be where God wanted them.
Having Kids
Of course each mother believes their children will be the best in the world. Having grown up in strict religion, and now being a strong believer themselves, they teach their children the same.
From their child’s youngest years they taught them about God, how to pray, and obedience to the Prophet.
And for the most part, their children did really well.
Mom, I’m Out
That child that was once small, that the mother spent years teaching about the truth is now seeing life a little different. They were perhaps treated a bit unfairly by the leaders of the religion.
The mother did not like the leaders decisions about their child, having them go work or whatever it was, but she had to go along. She tries to explain and help her child see through it, but the child has had enough.
To the mother deeply devoted to her religion, this is hell. The child leaving is choosing death.
All the expressions and words in the world couldn’t explain how these mothers feel as they watch their child make their worst nightmare come true. What happened to their good little boy or girl?
Few people will ever know their spiritual and emotional feelings.
Tears. Pain. Anguish. Some show it more than others. But they all feel it. And some have a heart attack over it.
Coming To Terms With A New Reality
Very few mothers will entirely let their children go. Perhaps many or all of their children leave.
Now they start reconsidering. The pain they have is unbearable. They spent 20 years raising children towards one goal: to become like God and help the Prophet. But they all left.
What purpose does that mother even have anymore? What’s the point? Then she considers that maybe this religion is not the only path in the world. Perhaps her children are great and choosing the right path.
But the thoughts are mostly unbearable. She knows she is not as wrong as everyone thinks. She knows it made more sense back in her day.
And there was so much good in it all.
So what about the last 30 or 40 years? Ummm just pass it off? Not so easily my friends.
It is as painful as any emotional pain you ever will feel. I could never describe it to you and I’m not going to try. But I have seen it. And probably have not felt it.
Conclusion
I will not pretend to have advise. These women have felt feelings deeper than many can comprehend. They are some of the kindest and best mothers on the planet.
Their lives got torn apart in every possible way. And very few people really understand. Most look at them as brainwashed and part of a previous problem.
No one knows the joy they have felt, or the pain.
If words of encouragement will do any good, I will offer all the ones I have within. I will say thank you to the mothers who did their best.
I would recognize your value, sacrifice, and offer the idea that the future cannot and will not change that you have done your very best and given your all for your children and family. Why would you want it any different?
The outcome may be unexpected, but your strength and sacrifice lasts forever.
No words can change the situation. We must embrace the path forward and may the God you did believe in, and deep down still do, give you strength and love!
And most of all, may you find peace and a good relationship with your children, a life that you love, and peace in face of adversity. And wealth!
Thank you for reading! You may also enjoy this article titled: My Childhood In The FLDS Age 1-5
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