Bad times are bad. But they are affordable.

Catastrophe isn’t. But when you can afford it, you live with it. Or worse—you can’t even see it.

Spend years of your life affording mediocrity? NO! I hope it gets terrible enough that you have to change.

Skipping dentist visits is affordable—until you’re clutching your jaw, desperate for relief.

Your Blind Vision Needs…

PAIN!

What you see in life is everything. Because your mind only sees the world through the lens of your programmed mindset.

But what if you could see everything?

Why did I stay in the FLDS as long as I did, when life was extremely unfulfilling?

Because I didn’t have the vision to see it. Until I got more PAIN!

Why does your bad relationship continue? Because you don’t have the vision to see a happier version of yourself outside of your toxic relationship. Until you get more… PAIN!

And why did billions of people suffer mediocre evils for dozens, if not hundreds, of years before circumstances got so bad they rose up and changed it? Because they did not have the vision to see it. Until… PAIN!

Let There Be Excruciating Pain

And then revolutions come. Then it is fight, or die for a better life.

Would you like to live 100 years under light slavery? Or would you rather be treated so badly that your mind activates, and you fight out of the misery?

I needed extreme pain before I had the courage to consider another VISION and leave the FLDS.

Your pain must go to the extreme. You have to be hurt and broken. Shattered and crumpled up.

Because if you can afford your pain, you will pay for it with years of mediocrity. A life of fear and regret. And nothing scares me more.

Increased pain gives you the vision to see beyond the horizon of affordable pain.

Courage Was Always In You. Pain Brought It Out.

Moments in history brought out the courage to change everything.

The 13 colonies needed shots fired before they had the courage to start a revolution.

J.K. Rowling needed deep depression and lowly poverty before she had the courage and vision to write the famous Harry Potter.

And you have the courage within to do great things. But your circumstances are not bad enough. You’re too satisfied with your affordable pain.

And the cost you pay every day is a mediocre life. How unfulfilling. How disgusting.

May God answer your prayer, and bring the pain to show you your courage.

I’m Scared of Pain

And so are you.

For me, dropping my entire foundation—my views from birth—was too painful. Too scary. Too unbelievable.

I wanted to avoid all the trouble of recreating my identity.

Until I was isolated. And couldn’t pay rent. And my foundation was crumbling. My best friends wouldn’t help me. Instead, they rejected and punished me. And my mind was put to a breaking point.

I didn’t want to change. People on the outside couldn’t understand. They had VISION I did not.

The crazy part? Today, I am still doing the same thing. And most likely, you are too.

Things are not painful enough yet. We don’t want our worldview shattered. We are scared of the unfamiliar.

YOU ARE SCARED OF PAIN.

And more pain is the key to pushing you forward.

YOU’RE SCARED OF WHAT MAKES YOU BETTER.

Scared of change.

May God give you more pain to push you to your dreams.

Fighting Our Human Nature

I am not above human nature. And neither are you.

I will stand here satisfied, mediocre, and lacking vision that is so obvious to others until I get more pain.

It is in my human nature. I cannot change that. And neither can you.

Instead, we must recognize that our human nature limits us to mediocrity.

And in the newly found vision, we have to put ourselves—our minds—in uncomfortable situations. We must seek people we disagree with.

Our refuge is not our bedroom. Instead, let your refuge be discomfort, embarrassment, hearing what we disagree with, and continual questioning.

Instead of letting our physical situation get horrible, let us put our minds in uncomfortable conversation, distasteful music, and stare into the abyss until we can see clearly.

Conclusion

My worst experiences were absolutely necessary for me to see that I needed to leave the cult I was in.

Yet, when I tell the stories, people say, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

But I shut it down. And I get down on my knees and thank God he made it extremely PAINFUL.

10 more years of mediocrity? THANK GOD for my PAIN!!

50 more years, and 30 kids into a bunch more brainwashing, and a life controlled by someone else?

THANK GOD IT GOT SO BAD.

May it ever be, that when I cannot see the vision I need, my pain increases until I see it clearly.

And my prayer for you is that the pain will get excruciating. Unbearable. Unfathomable. Until you gain the vision that you have prayed for so long.

Together, let us embrace the sweet comfort of pain. The savory smell. And the disgusting beauty.

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More beautiful than women,

Tastier than a flame-kissed sonnet of marbled delight,

A sweeter smell than jasmine,

Deeper than a star-born river of endless light.

Is the human forged through excruciating pain,

For anguish unveils the sight to gain.

A vision of hope through suffering’s plea,

For pain is how you truly break free.

This week I went on Growing Up In Polygamy Youtube channel/ Podcast. I hope you will check that out right here: Life as th Son of Warren Jeffs with 80 momma’s!

You would also enjoy this article titled: My Childhood Age 10: New Adventures And Finding My Confidence

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