I Canceled My Cult. Here Is Why

I guess I’m not a good enough Prophet lol.

Should I be serious or not?

Okay, so there’s a few reasons why I’m canceling.

The name was a joke, but it tended to creep people out.
I did want to start an online community, but decided I need to think about what it should be like a little longer. I’ll try again in awhile.
If I start an online community with the word “cult” in it, unfortunately people take things too much at face value and it gives bad reputation.
I don’t currently have enough time to do what I promised (livestreams every week, history deep dives and such.)

Here’s what else you should know:

Anyone that signed up has been refunded.

I will still do an online community sometime, but for now I will just keep writing.

What do you think, should have I pushed my cult even harder? 😂

For those who didn’t know what had happened, I created on online community for fun, strategy, and a bunch of different chat/post area’s.

I named it The Jaden Jeffs Cult.

It was supposed to be funny but people just thought I was crazy 🤪.

Now I will pivot to something better.

By the way, if I wanted to actually start a cult I wouldn’t put “cult” in the name obviously.

Well it was fun while it lasted. But it’s over now.

Original article below, because I do think it was funny. And if you convince me to start another cult for fun then I might do it!

Thanks;)

Original Article: I’m Starting A Cult. Here’s Why

Cults scare people.

And today, I want to scare you. In fact, I intend to scare you so bad that you end up joining my cult.

I want to pull at your emotions in a way that you hate me. And love me. And join my cult.

In the past, I analyzed how other cult leaders fooled you, how they sucked in victims and brainwashed them.

But today, I’m setting all that aside. Today, I’m not analyzing.

Instead, I’m putting all I’ve learned to the test. I’m going to say the truth straight to your face, and by the time I’m done, you’re going to do what you fear most: Join A Cult.

You’re Already Part of a Cult

Cults have a bad reputation—and for good reason. But at their core, cults are just communities with a purpose.

Every movement, religion, and even brand has cult-like elements. The real question isn’t if cults are bad—it’s what makes one worth joining.

So in my case I’m just being a little more honest. Or I’m secretly trying to brainwash you. So keep your eyelids open for the next few minutes.

Here’s Why I’m Starting a Cult

First of all, this is mostly a joke. Second of all, it’s actually really serious.

The world is unfair.

You have no one to seduce you.

Everyone is walking around like saints. They think they are right. Which is hilarious.

Because they aren’t. They don’t even second-guess themselves. Which is extremely entertaining.

But that’s why I started this cult.

Instead of getting side-eyed for asking if something really makes sense, we embrace it.

In fact, The Jaden Jeffs Cult might be the least cult-like organization there is.

But to be honest, it’s probably the best cult too.

Because nothing goes as hard as irony. I’m being serious. And I’m also just joking around.

Not even you can tell. Which is very concerning. And even more reason to sign up for a cult membership.

I mean, the cult whose only belief is ASKING QUESTIONS.

My Favorite Part of The Cult

Well, first I need to tell you how cool I am.

I made three tiers: Deacon, Elder, and High Priest. It wouldn’t be a cult if some people weren’t above the others.

And you know, I am the Prophet, which is super ironic considering my folly.

But then, if you look at my inspirations, you can’t help but agree with God’s decision.

So here’s my favorite part: A chat called “Cult Comedy Hour.”

Now, to be fair, I am the only one that’s posted in there. After all, I did make the cult this week.

But no one would be in there laughing at his own jokes like the Prophet. Anyway, you gotta go check out how a dude just posts jokes and laughs to himself about it.

And you should post a joke. I promise I will stop by and like it. But as a High Priest, I have to avoid boisterous laughter—at least when my followers are watching.

Here’s A Few Other Cool Things Inside

I made a space called “Secret Romance.”

I’m dying to hear about your last affair.

If no one confesses in there, I’m going to. But then people wouldn’t actually believe I am the Prophet, which really terrifies me.

I also made a space called “The Vault.” It is for deep dives on cults, or any history, nation, or power. It is simply a member forum, but I am hoping we have some great members who like doing deep dives and sharing them.

As the Prophet, I will do some deep dives and share them with you.

There’s also a space to talk about spirituality, if that’s your thing. Otherwise, stop by the “Cult Comedy Hour” and make a few jokes about the people who take it seriously.

I’ll side with both of you. As the Prophet, I understand spirituality deeply, but it’s also my duty to mock it occasionally.

Tithing

As your Prophet, I strongly considered taking 10%. But God appeared to me in a vision and told me that would be evil.

So it only costs $5 to join. Which is a really low cost for salvation, all things considered.

God’s really made salvation affordable lately. And we should be really grateful we don’t have to pay 10% of our tithing anymore.

I did tell God I needed 10% or more so I could escape the FBI when they put me on their most wanted list. But he said he’d lift me up.

So I’m really counting on him.

Join Or Else

You will go to hell, obviously. I saw a vision that everyone who doesn’t join will suffer from getting swarmed by people who rub frog poop all over you.

And I just wouldn’t want that on anyone.

Which is why I scrambled to get God’s word out to you.

Oh, and joinorelse.com is the domain I used. I feel so smart. Every Prophet does, I guess.

But don’t click that link. Instead, go over to my cult page and discover all the benefits of signing up.

Don’t join God’s work without a real testimony. If you do, you’ll lose your voice for two weeks.

On a serious note, I did put an insane amount of work into this. I will probably end up rebranding the community in the future but didn’t have the funds currently to do a trademark.

May God Bless You All—but only if you join my cult.

Sorry, His cult, I meant. Amen.

Okay, don’t get too caught up. I know cults are cool but be careful about which one’s you join. Stay safe out there!

You would also enjoy this article titled: The Current State Of The FLDS, Who Is Their Leader, And Where Are They

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Jaden Jeffs