I jolted my steering wheel while waking up and barely missed a crash earlier this year. But I wasn’t waking up—I’d gotten lost in a trance, looping logic about whether God exists.

My mind has almost broken at times thinking about it. Then I take a few months off and watch football and play chess—something atheists would applaud and say I should do more of. Oh, and sex—but that’s too much for the religious, maybe even for me still.

While the super-religious laugh at the struggle in my mind, I want to offer some thoughts and questions that have become increasingly clear over time.

To Even Ask the Question…

I had to realize how biased the human experience is. Sorry—I meant to yell and tell you how awfully biased you are toward your own lens of the world.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But you need to understand: an atheist laughs at the idea of praying seriously, and a religious person prays like God actually exists.

They both “get it” from a distance, but not enough to take the other person’s view with even a fraction of serious reasoning.

Some people actually are interested in truth—not just spouting their “knowledge.” But of course, like me, what I’ve learned so far shapes my bias. I try to keep an open mind.

Endpoint: don’t swipe off a point as “stupid.” If you’re going to offer a counterpoint, I’m all in. 😉

You Have to Give the Devil a Chance

Or God. Here’s my challenge: the repulsion you feel—either toward the idea of no God or toward the idea of God—is the engine behind your logic.

“I feel…” is cool, but it’s called bias. Intuition? Yes. Bias? Also yes.

I’m not arguing to ignore intuition; I’m saying understand it’s trained by what you’re familiar with.

So first question: if you give the idea of no God the same fair shot you give the idea of God, how would that change your life today? More free or less free?

More questions:

Is the idea of God in your life as powerful as the idea of no God is in an atheist’s life? Or vice versa? Imagine growing up in the opposite situation.

Why do words in a book, stated as fact, mean more to you than the layered evidence in ice cores at the poles?

Or why do mountain formations and ancient mummies mean more to you than the live feeling within that seems to echo from something greater?

Just questions from an observer. Did you laugh off anything I just mentioned when weighing truth? Why?

I used to laugh at science—because that’s what the people around me did. In my former world, God obviously existed.

“I Know God Lives”

That feeling is undeniable for many religious people. They testify of Him, feel it often, and live by it.

I’m good with that—until life happened.

I’ve felt that, too. So I’m going to say something many religious people will reject.

My dad, Warren Jeffs, had that feeling, too. I’d argue he felt it so strongly it gave him the confidence to “prepare for Jesus,” physically and spiritually.

Don’t believe me? That’s okay. I know it’s true, I experienced it. I saw it.

“That’s the spirit of the devil.” And: “This feeling means you know.” Friend, imagine you once knew—and then it wasn’t true. That’s how it was. A lot of people still trust that feeling over logic.

That’s why they’re still there. Confusing? Welcome. So what? God gave you a brain. Guess we’ll have to go back to logic. Intuition? It’s probably still useful—when you’re also maximizing logic.

By the way, I still believe in this power. I just understand it better and don’t fully trust getting swept up in it.

As my grandfather would say, “You should feel uncomfortable without it.”

If God Is So Smart…

Why doesn’t He manifest Himself in some clear way? Religious people look at nature and say, “What wonders.”

I agree. “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet… even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these” (Matthew 6:28–29, KJV).

If nature is the manifestation of God, then I believe in energy—and in that form of God.

I just don’t see evidence of a powerful being directing outcomes. We do as we please… until we can’t help ourselves, and the storm comes regardless.

A few more questions:

Why do proclamations of “God’s coming—He told me” end when the individual dies? It’s over, and life goes on for everyone else. As real as it felt. As much as they “knew.”

Why do civilizations get wiped out sometimes? “Immorality!!” Maybe. But I need to know why the ice ages come and go and why a bunch of things happen. Does it make more sense that planets cycle naturally—or that people were so “wicked” and “God has His reasons”?

Conclusion

This is a short article of my thoughts on God. If you ask me if God is real, I’d say: “I don’t know.”

I believe in the power people call God—or energy. I believe in intuition, after we learn as much as we can and think things through logically.

When it comes to God—who I love so much—I have to say: I don’t know. My logic only gives me “I don’t know.”

I’d rather look ignorant than jump on a bandwagon of people who “know.”

Here’s what I do know: send out good. Think things through if you want something to work. Love others. Strive for a mind of sound understanding that can rise beyond your personal veil.

Honor our fathers—they did what they did for reasons, and we’re probably not much smarter.

Avoid new “knowledge of God.” It’s likely a storm you could get caught up in—real power, real energy.

Embrace science—especially the kind that wants to be questioned.

And as for God? He tends to help those who help themselves. Be the God you wanted to look out for you.

Do the math. Be the hero. Then you can count on help in a bad spot. And if it comes—fate or God—thank Him, too.

You would also enjoy this article: You’re Going to Die. Here’s What to Do About It.

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My Podcast this week was sorta weird, so be careful watching it:)