The Texas heat was so much hotter in those white long johns. 2006 didn’t bring the hottest summer, but we always wore full white underwear no matter the temperature outside.

Occasionally as a young boy my father brought home a woman or girl. He’d say, “This is your new mother.”

When I was 8 years old, my father got in white clothes, got in a pool of water and dipped me in. Along with about 30 other boys and girls my age, one at a time.

But what happens at 12?

My grandfather had a young girl. 12 years old to be exact. My father married her in 2006, around the same time I got baptized.

At 8 years old I called that getting another mother. Today I call that pedophilia.

To you it all sounds outrageous. At 8 it couldn’t have been more ordinary.

This article is about the current state of the FLDS, including some talk about my brother Heleman who allegedly had sex with a 15 year old.

First I need you to understand my journey in comprehending underage marriages and sexual relations.

Understand I am also writing this for some who are still in or leaving the FLDS.

Is it Really That Wrong?

In 2023, we were traveling on a 12 hour road trip from Idaho to Texas. Two of Warren Jeffs wives were in the car. I was driving, listening to three of my sisters arguing with these two women about this exact girl Warren Jeffs married at 12 years old in 2006.

The conversation started getting intense.

My sisters were thrashing these two mothers over their beliefs about this girls marriage. The mothers weren’t totally defending Warren Jeffs, but they were.

As an observer and occasional participant to this conversation, I couldn’t help but question the origination of where sexual age limits came from.

Religion was what justified this particular girls marriage at 12 years old. Yes it wasn’t your random christian religion.

To the followers of Warren Jeffs, God commanded it and the Holy Spirit sanctioned it.

To the outside world, an awful greedy man was all they could see.

But to other religions, the devil and spiritual deception is all they could imagine.

Isn’t He Married To A 12 Year Old?

As a 19 year old boy, my mind was steadfast to the gospel of Christ in the Mormon tradition.

I had never used the internet. My mind was more innocent than most 10 year olds as far as sexual relations and sexual facts.

One day a stranger asked me, “Any relation to Warren Jeffs.”

“I’m his kid.” I replied. This person gasped like I was an alien species.

I had slowly started using the internet, but I’d never let myself watch something about Warren Jeffs.

One day that exact title came up on my YouTube recommendations: “Warren Jeffs: Prophet or Evil Genius?”

It’s hard not to click a title like that when it’s about your own father. Which is why I clicked it.

I soon discovered that almost every video about Warren Jeffs started with, “A man convicted of sexual intercourse with two minors serving a life sentence.”

Now I knew why people hated my father. Before I didn’t even know why. I assumed it was because he was the Prophet.

I thought of dads wives just like you think of your mother. The 12 year old wives I saw in these videos on youtube, I knew them personally.

At the time, two of them lived in the upstairs of our house and I saw them every day. They seemed okay to me. I was in the basement watching videos about them. By this time they were well into their twenties.

Who Made The Rules??

Because it was normal, (I’d describe it more like unspoken about) and I didn’t know anything about sexual relations, I had to start from ground zero.

The youtube videos about Warren Jeffs are what made me curious about minors vs older people.

I had a natural bias towards my community and relatives, it’s all I had or knew. But I wanted to understand the situation completely.

First I had to fully acquaint myself with sexual relations, what that consisted of and what was generally acceptable in the world. This took me years because I was struggling with a lot of guilt for even educating myself.

Next I needed to understand who were 12 years old children. These children were smaller than I had remembered from when I was 12. I needed to get the image of me at 12 and separate it from when I was 15 and 20.

I could better understand why people were so angry when I saw a group of 12 year old children. They were younger and smaller than I had remembered.

I had never experienced sex myself, so I couldn’t really judge off any personal sexual relationships.

During this time around 2020, there was a lot of feminist movements in the greater political world.

One day I was talking with one of my brothers about a case of sexual assault from a Muslim man that I had read about online. The girl was 12 years old. I can’t remember the details, but I think she was raped by several men in a row.

My brother was so discussed. I was too.

That’s when it hit me:

If you have absolutely no emotional or relational connection to an underage sexual situation, it’s disgusting.

If you grew up with those women and still see them, they are in their 20’s now, and they still defend Warren Jeffs, it feels a lot more normal than a random story.

Here’s Who Made The Rules

I lightly mentioned to my brother that maybe underage sexual relations is why people hate our father. He wasn’t ready for that so we went quiet for a few weeks.

When I got thinking harder about this, I remembered Joseph Smith getting murdered by a mob. 150-200 men reportedly rushed the prison and killed him.

One of the comments my brother made to me about the Muslim man who raped a girl is “he deserves to die.”

It’s hard for me to understand why 200 men rushed the jail and killed Joseph if it wasn’t for something like this kind of anger.

These rules about no sexual relationships with minors didn’t come from God.

They come from parents killing people that take advantage of their daughters.

When I first heard about a man hitting on my 17 year old sister, I felt angry. Those feelings didn’t come from conscious thoughts, they were just there naturally.

The rules come from collective parents looking out for their daughters. So essentially the 18 rule comes from parents who saw their daughters being taken advantage of.

In the 1800’s when everyone knew that was happening repeatedly, they just went and killed them. That’s why there are laws about it.

You really think 150 men killed Joseph because he loved Jesus a little differently?

What God Has To Say

I have noticed that religious people claim that the rules come from God, from Christianity, from a higher place.

Religion is the main place underage marriages are happening.

If you don’t have sex with minors because “God said not to,” then you will always be able to adjust what underage is via God.

Do we ban underage marriage because we are protecting children or because we are obeying God?

Children come first. Humans come first. God can be what you want, but children come before God.

Christianity may have some good results. This isn’t one of them. Fathers and mothers came together to protect their children, often against spiritual Christian’s, Muslims, or other religious leaders or non religious individuals.

Here Is Where Pedophile’s Live

We think of pedophiles as far out people we don’t know. Maybe there are some high up secret people doing bad things.

But the majority of pedophiles are closer to you than you think. It could be your brother in law, your aunt, or even the religious leader that “gives such powerful insight.”

The tattooed biker is less suspect than your religious preacher, and I hate to break your bubble like that.

Pedophiles are often protected because they are caught by people who love them. A father doesn’t want his son to go to prison for 20 years. He’s “a good kid who made a mistake.”

There’s a picture of one of Warren Jeffs victims in his arms at 12 years old. If I asked her about it today she would say, “I love him so much,” and “You don’t know what your talking about. It’s truly God’s plan and power and you don’t understand.”

Sexual misconduct is often unreported because the victims can think they want it. Often when pedophiles are caught, relatives will choose to “love them.”

I understand why pedophiles are usually uncaught. Because most the time it isn’t forced misconduct, it’s “we made a mistake,” or “God wants this to happen.”

As society, we have made a contract with each other that the rules are over 18. Society held my father to those rules.

Here’s My Thoughts On My Brother Heleman

My brother Heleman allegedly had sex with a girl at 15. I believe he was 27.

Do I give him grace? I remember that he was raised like I was, to think that God decides.

Even though I was raised this way, I took time to educate myself and agree to our societies standards. I did that before I ever had any sex.

No one told me. Not a single person ever told me in those early days when I was leaving.

Later on my brother gave me some good advice: 20 or older. 19 if you see their ID. 18 say no, they are probably lying.

I have had people try to trick me by saying they are 18, then tell me they are 17 later. I said no.

Why couldn’t Heleman do the same?

Relatives Should Be Held Accountable

Here’s my problem with just letting relatives get away with it: pedophiles gain an appetite for underage sexual relations.

So suppose someone does misunderstand our social contract of 18. They should still get some prison time. Otherwise they develop an appetite for underage girls.

I took the time and effort to understand this before I ever had sex. I’m five years younger than my brother Heleman. I think he should be held to the same standard I am. The same standard you are.

If I don’t say that, I can’t condemn anyone else. I don’t think Heleman is out to take advantage of women. But I also think there has to be consequences or it will continue.

It’s better to spend 5 years after one victim then life in prison after 5 victims.

Some of my brothers and sisters won’t like that I said this about Heleman. But if I had done what Heleman did, I would be held accountable.

My brothers and sisters would condemn me. So why the double standard?

“It’s a different situation.” And “you don’t understand.” That’s the bull shit you throw out to protect people you love. This isn’t a bank robbery. I’d protect you in that. It’s another persons body.

It’s a mind game we play on ourselves. Like the parents who say, “He’s a good kid who made a mistake.” We can’t lie about the best path forward. A little prison time could go a long ways in protecting women and helping our loved ones understand our social contracts.

I knew absolutely nothing about sex. Or laws. Or anything. I took the time to understand before I had any sex.

FLDS members view me as immoral because I didn’t do it their way. But they look at Warren Jeffs with a 12 year old and justify it.

I hope they don’t justify it after they understand what happened. Sad to say but I’ve seen some defend it too much.

How Many FLDS members are Pedophiles?

Most of them are good people. Just like most people in the world.

But the situation of the FLDS calls for our attentiveness. Young women are in a biological hormonal state to move on in life and have children.

Without direction from Warren Jeffs, men can turn that desire into something that feels holy and from God. Like Sam Bateman.

Many men are good. But good men do bad things through lack of awareness or by getting caught up in the moments insanity.

As someone with a small audience, I need say something right now.

Many FLDS members read my writing. If you don’t know where your relatives are, and they are “doing something special,” or “the prophet called them,” be suspicious.

The days of secrecy are over. The days of obeying the Prophet are over. Chances are your daughter is duped into thinking something is holy.

Or your son you taught absolutely nothing about sex is caught up in a situation that could have been avoided.

I am personally aware of 5 situations where sexual behavior got absolutely insane. Not every situation was illegal. Always absolutely insane though. Regrettable for all of them.

These are all 2-5 year old situations, because it takes time for them to come out. People start snapping out of their insanity.

I’d guess there are at least 50 cases of sexual insanity in smaller groups of FLDS people. Just total insanity. (Think a little more competent Sam Bateman, not always underage though. Think 5-10 people, not always 20.) So be careful. Don’t assume you can’t get caught up in it. You can.

God Doesn’t Mind Underage Marriage

Spring was coming on 2 years ago when I lived in Idaho. I decided to find a Christian church and see what it was all about.

A few older ladies waved their hands up in rejoicing through the songs. One man was feeling the spirit and waved his hat.

I felt that feeling with them to the degree I let my mind be captured by their spirit and essence.

A fundamental part of spirituality in religion is assumed holiness, or assumed moral guidance from that spiritual power.

But that’s incorrect. That same power was what made the women around Warren Jeffs believe and support him, including some of his victims, who defend him to this day.

Mormons often tell me, “That’s the deception of Satan.” Then they proceed to explain the power of God in this person or that apostle in their church.

I always chuckle and think if you were around my dad for a few weeks you’d be swept away and pretty soon you’d be doing an underage marriage too.

He could help you feel that spirituality even better than your favorite apostle.

They think that is outrageous. Then they love the same spiritual power in lesser degrees.

If God brings spiritual power (I hate to tell you this) but it don’t mind underage marriage or underage sexual relations.

I’d even argue that spiritual power is usually what makes men go from “defending my daughter” to “this is Gods commandment.”

“You wouldn’t understand” is the best explanation they can give. That’s true in the sense that spiritual power can be far stronger in an exceptional way than most humans ever experience or imagine.

I didn’t doubt Gods existence first. I doubted spiritual experience’s ability to dictate morality.

For all the spiritual people “that’s not us” I’ll hear you out. But I have doubts about your spirituality being an arbiter of morality or any kind of “authority.”

Conclusion

The laws against sex with minors are to protect children first. Our motives should be to protect children’s lives and bodies while they are maturing.

If we don’t hold our relatives to the same standard we hold everyone else to, then there is no standard.

God is for justification. Children come first. If you put God before protecting children you can go fuck yourself.

Your fucking brain damaged. Go get some mental health.

This article is heavy but it needed to be written.

You would also enjoy this article: How Warren Jeffs Controlled All 79 of His Wives

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My podcast this week was with Michelle Michaels who left the Kingston group. Watch that right here: